Description
Dialogue in this work
Page 1
- A Love Letter from a Subarachnoid Hemorrhage This story is based on the author's real experience of suffering a subarachnoid hemorrhage during the COVID-19 pandemic.
Page 2
- A Love Letter from a Subarachnoid Hemorrhage A headache that feels like your brain is being squeezed directly.
Page 3
- Do you have an ideal way for your life to end?
- Occupation: Manga Artist
- I do.
- Live a healthy life past 80...
- ...and then pass away peacefully without suffering.
Page 4
- To that end,
- I live a healthy life now.
- Plenty of sleep, a proper diet, and moderate exercise.
- Annual health check-ups.
- Healthy habits I've maintained for years, with occasional breaks.
- Perhaps because of that,
- I'll be fine!
- I even had a strange sense of confidence.
- Summer 2020
Page 5
- My head hurts!
- Huh? What's this?
- A pain I've never felt before.
- A pain that feels like my whole head is being squeezed.
- It's not a headache I recognize, like from a cold.
Page 6
- Maybe it's just temporary? I'll rest a bit...
- If I had to describe this pain...
- ...it's like Sun Wukong's golden fillet is squeezing my brain directly.
Page 7
- An ambulance... Should I call one?
- I'm calling!
- Hello, this is the fire department.
- Huh? Is 119 for the fire department?
- ...Oh, I've made a mistake.
- I thought I was calling for an ambulance.
- This is the correct number for ambulances as well.
- Oh, really! I never knew that.
- I have a severe headache...
- It feels like my entire head is being squeezed...
- The symptoms started about five minutes before I called.
- It's the first time I've felt a pain like this.
Page 8
- My name is Yuki Shingetsu... I'm the one who's sick.
- My current location is...
- Please give me a phone number where you can be reached.
- ...080-
- Have you traveled abroad within the last two weeks?
- ...Ngh.
- ...Gah!
- ...Have you traveled abroad within the last two weeks?
- ...
- ...No.
Page 9
- The ambulance... hurry...!
- ...Over here.
Page 10
- I waited near the window to make it easier for the paramedics to get me.
- Are you Yuki Shingetsu?
- ...Yes.
- We'll need your wallet and your health insurance card.
- ...They're in my room.
- Please don't move.
- Huh?
- If I don't move, how am I supposed to...
- ...get my wallet and insurance card?
- In the end...
Page 11
- They decided to get my wallet and insurance card later.
- I was rushed to the hospital.
- During the examination at the hospital, I fell into a coma.
- Where am I?
Page 12
- ...Ah.
- ...A hospital room?
- Ms. Shingetsu.
- Are you all right?
- A nurse?
- Are you in any pain?
- My head hurts.
- Where... where am I?
- This is Kitahara International Hospital.
Page 13
- Yuki, you had a subarachnoid hemorrhage.
- You were brought to this hospital.
- !!
- A subarachnoid hemorrhage is caused by a ruptured cerebral aneurysm.
- Arachnoid mater
- Subarachnoid space
- Skull
- Bleeding occurs in the subarachnoid space.
- It's accompanied by a severe headache.
- There are generally three outcomes after treatment, right?
- Living with after-effects.
- Death.
- A full return to society.
- Each outcome has roughly the same probability.
Page 14
- Can I move my hands?
- They moved!
- What about my legs? Can they move too?
- Please don't move your legs!
- !!
- I can't?
- Why not?
Page 15
- A Love Letter from a Subarachnoid Hemorrhage The Cause of the Subarachnoid Hemorrhage
Page 16
- Previously...
- I was rushed to the hospital by ambulance after a sudden, severe headache.
- I was told I had a subarachnoid hemorrhage.
- When I checked to see if my limbs could move...
- Don't move your legs!
- ...Um?
- We performed a catheter surgery through the base of your thigh.
- If you move now, you might start bleeding.
- ...A catheter?
- How much longer do I have to stay still?
- Another two hours.
- What time is it? What day is it?
- I want to know what's going on.
- Please tell me.
- The surgery is already over... right?
Page 17
- Yes, it's over.
- Right...?
- You did just say it was a catheter surgery.
- I didn't want to have surgery.
- ...Well, it was a subarachnoid hemorrhage, so...
- ...I probably would have died without it, but still.
- My phone! This is great.
- Oh.
- Yuki, here's your phone back.
- Thank you very much.
- What is an endovascular catheter surgery?
- Also known as endovascular surgery.
Page 18
- A tube is inserted through the femoral artery at the base of the leg,
- and travels through the blood vessels to reach the affected area in the brain.
- So they didn't have to open my skull.
- Wow, they can do this kind of surgery now. That's amazing.
- Now then...
- Strokes are...
- subarachnoid hemorrhage cause
- Cerebral infarction, cerebral hemorrhage, and subarachnoid hemorrhage.
- They're divided into three types.
Page 19
- The causes of stroke are similar to those of high blood pressure and diabetes. They are rooted in daily lifestyle habits such as: - Diet - Lack of exercise - Stress - Smoking - Excessive drinking These are also known as 'lifestyle diseases.'
- This is all stuff I already knew...
- Also,
- I haven't been living an unhealthy lifestyle.
- Diet
- I'm careful about what I eat every day.
- Oh, maybe it's that?
- I think I'm eating healthily, but...
- ...maybe I'm actually not?
- I do eat junk food sometimes.
- ...But my health check-ups always come back normal.
- Excellent
Page 20
- Lack of Exercise
- If anything, I exercise too much.
- I've even consulted a doctor about it a few times before.
- You're doing too much weight training and running. Please cut back.
- I adjusted my workout routine after that.
- Stress
- I spend the most time on my mental well-being.
- ...Or was I just telling myself that?
- Smoking
- Excessive Drinking
- I don't smoke, and I don't drink.
- Why did I have a subarachnoid hemorrhage?
- I don't know!
- ...My head hurts.
- I'll ask the doctor tomorrow.
- Ms. Shingetsu, it's about time...
- Excuse me... Oh... now that I think about it, a long time ago...
- ...my uncle collapsed from a subarachnoid hemorrhage.
- ...Ms. Shingetsu!
- What is it?
Page 21
- It could be genetic.
- What?!
- The Next Day
- I'm Dr. Hayashi, the neurosurgeon. How are you feeling?
- I heard from the nurse.
- That you have a family history of subarachnoid hemorrhage.
- Doctor
Page 22
- Your family members may also be at risk for a subarachnoid hemorrhage.
- My subarachnoid hemorrhage...
- ...was caused by a genetic factor!
- Is that possible?
Page 23
- A Love Letter from a Subarachnoid Hemorrhage We don't laugh because we're happy—we're happy because we laugh.
Page 24
- Previously...
- The cause of my subarachnoid hemorrhage...
- ...was a genetic factor!
- I learned that this was a possibility.
- My life in the ICU began suddenly.
- The ICU is...
- ...a ward for patients who have survived life-saving procedures.
- Faced with this sudden, critical condition...
- ...I was overcome with shock...
- ...and broke down in tears.
- Or so you'd think.
- Ms. Shingetsu.
Page 25
- Please review these.
- Don't push yourself, it's okay.
- Hospital Admission Guide
- !!
- This is the admission guide.
- There are quite a few pages,
- but there are consent forms and other documents we need you to review and fill out.
- So many...
- ...Okay.
- Pajamas and towels are available for rent.
- Please check this form for details.
- Would you like to purchase a toothbrush and slippers?
- You can purchase anything you need for your hospital stay from this list.
- ...Okay.
- ...Yes, I'll buy them.
- Also...
- The admission process is more involved than I imagined.
- Don't push yourself, it's okay.
- Ooooh...!
- And then...
Page 26
- Contacting everyone.
- Reply, Contact, Reply
- Work
- Thankfully, I had submitted all my work projects the day before!
- It's like a miracle how conveniently I collapsed.
- I must have worried you all. I'm so sorry.
- I bet you never thought it was a subarachnoid hemorrhage. I was surprised myself.
- Family
- Friends
- I'll ask them to bring me some things I need.
- Insurance card, wallet, a new novel.
- When they ask if I'm okay, what should I say? I don't even know...
- I'm alive, and I can send emails.
- So I guess that counts as being okay.
- I'll just tell them I'm okay.
- ...
Page 27
- I'm tired...
- I'll just zone out for a bit.
- After regaining consciousness,
- my first day in the hospital...
- ...was a busy one.
- Being alive is a lot of work.
- And so,
- as for the symptoms of my subarachnoid hemorrhage...
- Yuki, how are you feeling?
Page 28
- ...You know how your head hurts when you oversleep? It's a pain like that.
- ...Hmm? You have a fever of 38 degrees.
- The headache gets worse when I lift my head, right?
- With my subarachnoid hemorrhage, I can move my arms and legs, but...
- ...the headache becomes severe when I try to sit up.
- So I'm almost completely bedridden.
- Am I going to be bedridden forever?
- There was a time I thought that, but...
- ...the anxiety didn't last.
- I'll probably be fine.
- I vaguely believed in a future where I would make a full recovery.
- This might sound surprising, but...
- ...in the early days of my hospitalization for the subarachnoid hemorrhage,
Page 29
- ...it was peaceful.
- One of the things creating this peace...
- Wow, this is fun!
- Wahahahaha hahahahaha
Page 30
- ...was the sound of the nurses laughing.
- That's odd.
- Ahahahaha hahaha
- ...I don't think anyone here said anything funny.
- Ahahahaha hahaha
- ...Why?
- Ah...
- Ahahahaha hahaha
- ...
- Waha
- Ahahahaha hahahahaha
- Heh.
Page 31
- ...Pfft, hahaha.
- Pfft, hah.
- No! It's not even funny, but...
- I can't help but laugh! This is ridiculous!
Page 32
- They know the effect laughter has on patients,
- so they're laughing on purpose.
- We don't laugh because we're happy—we're happy because we laugh.
- I'm reminded of the words of the French philosopher, Alain.
- A phrase the doctor often repeated in the early days of my hospitalization.
- The first two weeks after a subarachnoid hemorrhage are the most critical.
- I would come to understand the meaning of those words a little later on.
Page 33
- A Love Letter from a Subarachnoid Hemorrhage: My Higher Brain Dysfunction (Aphasia)
Page 34
- A phrase I heard often in the hospital.
- Two weeks.
- Nurse
- These two weeks are crucial.
- The first two weeks after a subarachnoid hemorrhage are the critical period.
- Doctor
- ...
- Once two weeks have passed...
Page 35
- Will this headache go away?
- Will I be able to leave the hospital?
- Yes, as long as there are no complications.
- Two weeks!
- That's how long it'll take for everything to be resolved.
- On a scale where the maximum pain is 10...
- How is your headache right now?
Page 36
- Right now... it's a weak 3.
- It hurts when I talk.
- This was a question I was asked often,
- and I answered based on my own personal scale.
- My scale was:
- A headache where I can use my phone for 20 minutes straight.
- A headache where I can use my phone for 5 minutes straight.
- Level 5
- A headache that makes my body shake when I walk.
- I feel nauseous.
- I can't walk with this much pain.
- Rehab is impossible!!
Page 37
- Level 10
- There are no levels 6 through 9.
- The pain shoots straight to a MAX 10.
- Keep up the good work with your rehab.
- You're fine to walk in the hallways.
- It hurts too much when I sit up. I can't do rehab.
- He's a monster!
- Come on, you can do it.
- ...No, I really feel like I'm going to be sick.
- Yuki.
- Yuki, you're trembling. Let's stop rehab for now!
- Next time, please speak up so we can hear you better.
- ...
- ...But I'm supposed to be discharged in two weeks, right?
- Should I push through?
- I have to think about my life after I leave the hospital...
Page 38
- The staff here has a habit of immediately praising any patient who does something that looks healthy.
- Yuki, that's amazing!
- Amazing! You're doing great!
- Well, I used to meditate every morning anyway...
- Let's do this!
Page 39
- Let's keep working hard on your rehab!
- ...
- Yes!
- My head still hurts when I sit up, but...
- ...I'm going to get completely better...
- ...and leave the hospital in two weeks.
- Thank you for your support.
- Day 8 since the onset of the subarachnoid hemorrhage.
- Yuki, I'm going to change your IV drip.
Page 40
- How are you feeling?
- I'm fine.
- ...Oh.
- The IV in my left arm hurts.
- Azami kiw rakwa Q kio.
Page 41
- Excuse me? What did you say?
- ...Azami kiw rakwa Q kio.
- ...? Could you please repeat that?
- The IV in my left arm hurts.
- ...Ah.
- Azai kiw rakaa...Q.
Page 42
- Have I... lost the ability to speak?
Page 43
- The first two weeks after a subarachnoid hemorrhage are the most critical.
- Yuki, please hang on!
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